Repentance Chapter 7

הוֹאִיל וּרְשׁוּת כָּל אָדָם נְתוּנָה לוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁבֵּאַרְנוּ יִשְׁתַּדֵּל אָדָם לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה וּלְהִתְוַדּוֹת בְּפִיו מֵחֲטָאָיו וְלִנְעֹר כַּפָּיו מֵחֲטָאָיו כְּדֵי שֶׁיָּמוּת וְהוּא בַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה וְיִזְכֶּה לְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא:

Since free will is granted to all people, as we have explained, a person should strive to do teshuvah and confess his sins verbally and shakes his hands free of his sins, so that he will die as a ba’al teshuvah and merit the life of the World to Come.

לְעוֹלָם יִרְאֶה אָדָם עַצְמוֹ כְּאִלּוּ הוּא נוֹטֶה לָמוּת וְשֶׁמָּא יָמוּת בִּשְׁעָתוֹ וְנִמְצָא עוֹמֵד בְּחֶטְאוֹ. לְפִיכָךְ יָשׁוּב מֵחֲטָאָיו מִיָּד וְלֹא יֵאָמֵר כְּשֶׁאַזְקִין אָשׁוּב שֶׁמָּא יָמוּת טֶרֶם שֶׁיַּזְקִין. הוּא שֶׁשְּׁלֹמֹה אָמַר בְּחָכְמָתוֹ (קהלת ט ח) "בְּכָל עֵת יִהְיוּ בְגָדֶיךָ לְבָנִים":

A person should always view himself as if he is about to die, lest he die an untimely death and be established in his sins – therefore a person should do teshuvah from his sins immediately and not say, “When I grow old I will do teshuvah,” lest he die before he grows old. Thus Solomon said in his wisdom, Let your clothing be white in every moment (Ecclesiastes 9:8).

אַל תֹּאמַר שֶׁאֵין תְּשׁוּבָה אֶלָּא מֵעֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶן מַעֲשֶׂה כְּגוֹן זְנוּת וְגֵזֶל וּגְנֵבָה. אֶלָּא כְּשֵׁם שֶׁצָּרִיךְ אָדָם לָשׁוּב מֵאֵלּוּ כָּךְ הוּא צָרִיךְ לְחַפֵּשׂ בְּדֵעוֹת רָעוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ וְלָשׁוּב מִן הַכַּעַס וּמִן הָאֵיבָה וּמִן הַקִּנְאָה וּמִן הַהִתּוּל וּמֵרְדִיפַת הַמָּמוֹן וְהַכָּבוֹד וּמֵרְדִיפַת הַמַּאֲכָלוֹת וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן מִן הַכּל צָרִיךְ לַחֲזֹר בִּתְשׁוּבָה. וְאֵלּוּ הָעֲוֹנוֹת קָשִׁים מֵאוֹתָן שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהֶן מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁבִּזְמַן שֶׁאָדָם נִשְׁקָע בְּאֵלּוּ קָשֶׁה הוּא לִפְרשׁ מֵהֶם. וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר (ישעיה נה ז) "יַעֲזֹב רָשָׁע" וְגוֹ':

Do not say that there is only teshuvah for sins that have an action, such as fornication, robbery, and theft; rather, just as a person must do teshuvah for these, so too he must search out his bad character traits, and do teshuvah for anger, hatred, jealousy, laziness, pursuit of money and honor, gluttony, and so on. A person must return in teshuvah from all of these. And these sins are harder than those which have an action, because once a person is immersed in them it is difficult for him to break free from them. Thus the verse says, Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts (Isaiah 55:7).

וְאַל יְדַמֶּה אָדָם בַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁהוּא מְרֻחָק מִמַּעֲלַת הַצַּדִּיקִים מִפְּנֵי הָעֲוֹנוֹת וְהַחֲטָאוֹת שֶׁעָשָׂה. אֵין הַדָּבָר כֵּן אֶלָּא אָהוּב וְנֶחְמָד הוּא לִפְנֵי הַבּוֹרֵא כְּאִלּוּ לֹא חָטָא מֵעוֹלָם. וְלֹא עוֹד אֶלָּא שֶׁשְּׂכָרוֹ הַרְבֵּה שֶׁהֲרֵי טָעַם טַעַם הַחֵטְא וּפֵרַשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ וְכָבַשׁ יִצְרוֹ. אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים מָקוֹם שֶׁבַּעֲלֵי תְּשׁוּבָה עוֹמְדִין אֵין צַדִּיקִים גְּמוּרִין יְכוֹלִין לַעֲמֹד בּוֹ. כְּלוֹמַר מַעֲלָתָן גְּדוֹלָה מִמַּעֲלַת אֵלּוּ שֶׁלֹּא חָטְאוּ מֵעוֹלָם מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהֵן כּוֹבְשִׁים יִצְרָם יוֹתֵר מֵהֶם:

Let a ba’al teshuvah not think that he is far from the level of the righteous because of the sins and transgressions he has committed – it is not so, but he is loved and cherished before the Creator as if he had never sinned. Furthermore, her reward is great, because he has tasted the flavor of sin and separated from it and conquered her temptation. Our Sages said: “In a place where ba’alei teshuvah stand, the completely righteous can not stand,” meaning that their level is greater than those who have never sinned – because they have done more to conquer their temptation.

כָּל הַנְּבִיאִים כֻּלָּן צִוּוּ עַל הַתְּשׁוּבָה וְאֵין יִשְׂרָאֵל נִגְאָלִין אֶלָּא בִּתְשׁוּבָה. וּכְבָר הִבְטִיחָה תּוֹרָה שֶׁסּוֹף יִשְׂרָאֵל לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה בְּסוֹף גָּלוּתָן וּמִיָּד הֵן נִגְאָלִין שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ל א) "וְהָיָה כִי יָבֹאוּ עָלֶיךָ כָּל הַדְּבָרִים" וְגוֹ' (דברים ל ב) "וְשַׁבְתָּ עַד ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ" (דברים ל ג) "וְשָׁב ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ" וְגוֹ':

All the prophets, all of them commanded [the nation] to repent, and Israel will only be redeemed through Teshuva. The Torah has already promised that, in the end, Israel will do Teshuva, and immediately they will be redeemed. As it is says: "And it shall come to pass, when all these things..."; "and shalt return unto the LORD thy G-d".

גְּדוֹלָה תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁמְּקָרֶבֶת אֶת הָאָדָם לַשְּׁכִינָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (הושע יד ב) "שׁוּבָה יִשְׂרָאֵל עַד ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ". וְנֶאֱמַר (עמוס ד ו) "וְלֹא שַׁבְתֶּם עָדַי נְאֻם ה'". וְנֶאֱמַר (ירמיה ד א) "אִם תָּשׁוּב יִשְׂרָאֵל נְאֻם ה' אֵלַי תָּשׁוּב". כְּלוֹמַר אִם תַּחֲזֹר בִּתְשׁוּבָה בִּי תִּדְבַּק. הַתְּשׁוּבָה מְקָרֶבֶת אֶת הָרְחוֹקִים. אֶמֶשׁ הָיָה זֶה שָׂנאוּי לִפְנֵי הַמָּקוֹם מְשֻׁקָּץ וּמְרֻחָק וְתוֹעֵבָה. וְהַיּוֹם הוּא אָהוּב וְנֶחְמָד קָרוֹב וְיָדִיד. וְכֵן אַתָּה מוֹצֵא שֶׁבְּלָשׁוֹן שֶׁהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מַרְחִיק הַחוֹטְאִים בָּהּ מְקָרֵב אֶת הַשָּׁבִים בֵּין יָחִיד בֵּין רַבִּים. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (הושע ב א) "וְהָיָה בִּמְקוֹם אֲשֶׁר יֵאָמֵר לָהֶם לֹא עַמִּי אַתֶּם יֵאָמֵר לָהֶם בְּנֵי אֵל חָי". וְנֶאֱמַר בִּיכָנְיָהוּ בְּרִשְׁעָתוֹ (כְּתֹב) [כִּתְבוּ] (ירמיה כב ל) "אֶת הָאִישׁ הַזֶּה עֲרִירִי גֶּבֶר לֹא יִצְלַח בְּיָמָיו", (ירמיה כב כד) "אִם יִהְיֶה כָּנְיָהוּ בֶּן יְהוֹיָקִים מֶלֶךְ יְהוּדָה חוֹתָם עַל יַד יְמִינִי" וְגוֹ'. וְכֵיוָן שֶׁשָּׁב בְּגָלוּתוֹ נֶאֱמַר בִּזְרֻבָּבֶל בְּנוֹ (חגי ב כג) "בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא נְאֻם ה' צְבָאוֹת אֶקָּחֲךָ זְרֻבָּבֶל בֶּן שְׁאַלְתִּיאֵל עַבְדִּי נְאֻם ה' וְשַׂמְתִּיךָ כַּחוֹתָם":

Great is repentance, for it draws one close to the Shechinah, as it is said: "Return, O Israel, to the LORD your G-d." [Hosea 14:2] And it says [further]: "You have not returned to Me, says the LORD." [Amos 4:6] And it says [further]: "If you will return, O Israel, says the LORD, return to ME." [Jeremiah 4:1] That is: if you return in repentance, you shall cleave to Me. Repentance draws close those who are distant; yesterday one may have been despised, repulsive, vulgar and abominable but today he may be beloved, precious, close and adored. Thus, you find that the same language with which the Holy One of Blessing distances sinners is also used to draw near the penitent - whether individually or collectively. As it says: "'Whereas I had called you "Not-My-People," you shall [now] be called "Children of the Living G-d." [Hosea 2:1] And it is said [similarly] of Yecheniya's wickedness: "Let this man be recorded as barren, a man who will never prosper in all his days...should Chenyiahu, son of Yehoyakim, King of Judah, be the signet on My right hand!?" Nevertheless, when he repented in exile, it was said about Zerubabbel, his son: "'On that day,' declares the LORD of Hosts, 'I will take you, Zerubabbel, son of Shealtiel, My servant,' declares the LORD, 'and don you as a signet ring.'"

כַּמָּה מְעֻלָּה מַעֲלַת הַתְּשׁוּבָה. אֶמֶשׁ הָיָה זֶה מֻבְדָּל מֵה' אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה נט ב) "עֲוֹנוֹתֵיכֶם הָיוּ מַבְדִּלִים בֵּינֵכֶם לְבֵין אֱלֹהֵיכֶם". צוֹעֵק וְאֵינוֹ נַעֲנֶה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה א טו) "כִּי תַרְבּוּ תְפִלָּה" וְגוֹ'. וְעוֹשֶׂה מִצְוֹת וְטוֹרְפִין אוֹתָן בְּפָנָיו שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה א יב) "מִי בִקֵּשׁ זֹאת מִיֶּדְכֶם רְמֹס חֲצֵרָי", (מלאכי א י) "מִי גַם בָּכֶם וְיִסְגֹּר דְּלָתַיִם" וְגוֹ'. וְהַיּוֹם הוּא מֻדְבָּק בַּשְּׁכִינָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ד ד) "וְאַתֶּם הַדְּבֵקִים בַּה' אֱלֹהֵיכֶם". צוֹעֵק וְנַעֲנֶה מִיָּד שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה סה כד) "וְהָיָה טֶרֶם יִקְרָאוּ וַאֲנִי אֶעֱנֶה". וְעוֹשֶׂה מִצְוֹת וּמְקַבְּלִין אוֹתָן בְּנַחַת וְשִׂמְחָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (קהלת ט ז) "כִּי כְבָר רָצָה הָאֱלֹהִים אֶת מַעֲשֶׂיךָ". וְלֹא עוֹד אֶלָּא שֶׁמִּתְאַוִּים לָהֶם שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (מלאכי ג ד) "וְעָרְבָה לַה' מִנְחַת יְהוּדָה וִירוּשָׁלםִ כִּימֵי עוֹלָם וּכְשָׁנִים קַדְמֹנִיּוֹת":

How great is the value of teshuvah! Yesterday this person was separated from Adonai, the G-d of Israel, as it says, your iniquities have separated between you and your G-d (Isaiah 59:2); he cried out and was not answered, as it says, when you make many prayers, I will not hear (Is. 1:15); he did mitzvot and they were torn up in front of him, as it says, who has required this at your hand, to trample my courts? (Is. 1:12), O, that were one among you who would shut the doors that you might not kindle fire on my altar in vain! I have no pleasure in you, said the Lord of hosts, nor will I accept an offering from your hand (Malakhi 1:10). But today he has adhered to the Divine Presence, as it says, You who hold fast to the Lord your G-d (Deut. 4:4); he cries out and is answered immediately, as it says, And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer (Is. 65:24); and he does mitzvot which are not only accepted with pleasantness and joy, as it says, for G-d has already accepted your works (Ecclesiastes 9:7), but are even desired, as it says, Then shall the offering of Judah and Jerusalem be pleasant to the Lord, as in the days of old, and as in former years (Malakhi 3:4).

בַּעֲלֵי תְּשׁוּבָה דַּרְכָּן לִהְיוֹת שְׁפָלִים וַעֲנָוִים בְּיוֹתֵר. אִם חֵרְפוּ אוֹתָן הַכְּסִילִים בְּמַעֲשֵׂיהֶם הָרִאשׁוֹנִים וְאָמְרוּ לָהֶן אֶמֶשׁ הָיִיתָ עוֹשֶׂה כָּךְ וְכָךְ וְאֶמֶשׁ הָיִיתָ אוֹמֵר כָּךְ וְכָךְ. אַל יַרְגִּישׁוּ לָהֶן אֶלָּא שׁוֹמְעִין וּשְׂמֵחִים וְיוֹדְעִין שֶׁזּוֹ זְכוּת לָהֶם. שֶׁכָּל זְמַן שֶׁהֵם בּוֹשִׁים מִמַּעֲשֵׂיהֶם שֶׁעָבְרוּ וְנִכְלָמִים מֵהֶן זְכוּתָם מְרֻבָּה וּמַעֲלָתָם מִתְגַּדֶּלֶת. וְחֵטְא גָּמוּר הוּא לוֹמַר לְבַעַל תְּשׁוּבָה זְכֹר מַעֲשֶׂיךָ הָרִאשׁוֹנִים אוֹ לְהַזְכִּירָן לְפָנָיו כְּדֵי לְבַיְּשׁוֹ. אוֹ לְהַזְכִּיר דְּבָרִים וְעִנְיָנִים הַדּוֹמִין לָהֶם כְּדֵי לְהַזְכִּירוֹ מֶה עָשָׂה. הַכּל אָסוּר וּמֻזְהָר עָלָיו בִּכְלַל הוֹנָיַת דְּבָרִים שֶׁהִזְהִירָה תּוֹרָה עָלֶיהָ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא כה יז) "וְלֹא תוֹנוּ אִישׁ אֶת עֲמִיתוֹ":

Ba’alei teshuvah – their way is to be exceedingly lowly and humble. If the wicked ones mock them for their earlier actions and say to them, “Yesterday you did such-and-such, yesterday you said such-and-such” – they do not feel it, but rather hear it and are happy in the knowledge that it is a credit to them. For so long as they are embarrassed and ashamed by their actions which happened in the past, their merit increases and their value rises. And it is a complete sin to say to a ba’al teshuvah, “Remember your initial actions!” or to mention them in front of her to embarrass her, or to mention things or subjects similar to them in order to reminder her – all of this is forbidden. And we are warned about this in the Torah with the general prohibition of verbal abuse, as it says, You shall not abuse one another (Leviticus 25:17).